Talk Early and Often

Communicate your thoughts and expectations early. Your adult child likely has more than one household to visit this year, particularly if there is a grandchild involved. Your traditions will change a bit. It can be hard to adapt, but accept that your child has a new role as a partner / spouse / parent and be proud of that growth.

TMI—That’s “Too Much Information!”

If your adult child is bringing a friend or significant other home for the first time, take care in sharing too many personal, childhood stories. While these are sweet and enduring for you, the photos of your child as a chubby 8-year-old may be torture for them. Let them lead the conversation and respect the boundaries they have with the person they have brought home.

Respect Their Needs

When others are traveling to your home for the holidays—however far—it can be stressful, particularly if young children are involved. Take care to abide by necessary meal and treat times for kids; particular food issues, allergies or menu needs; accommodate their sleeping times and arrangements; and respect the style of parenting your children are employing—in front of the children. If you have sincere concerns, share those with your child in a supportive way, outside of the presence of others and without judgment of their spouse or partner.

Gifting

Refer to tip one: “Talk early and often!” Gift giving and receiving is such a positive experience, but the in-law layer can create a hazard. Newcomers to your family will not have the experience of your holidays of past. Help your adult child help them acclimate to your traditions. New parents are establishing boundaries and traditions of their own; ask for gift ideas or traditions they are establishing and any financial parameters they are observing for their child.

Major Conversations

Many families only come together once or twice each year. This invites the potential for “big” conversations while everyone is gathered. These range from how to deal with troubled family members to where Grandma should reside now that she can’t live at home. When adult children bring new people into the picture, these conversations can be overwhelming. Limit the “big” conversations to immediate family members who can impact a positive decision. The exception, in this economy, is when your adult child needs guidance and financial assistance from you. If they open the door, this is your opportunity to share your point of view on spending, saving, investing and insurance options.

Happy Holidays!

As hard as it is to hear, we are no longer the center of the universe for our children. Yet, they likely are for us! The holidays are their opportunity to test us as parents and set adult boundaries for their future lives. By listening and preparing, we can pave our way to a happy holiday season.

A new study recently revealed that grandparents are increasingly paying for auto insurance for both children and grandchildren. A Bureau of Labor Statistics study shows that baby boomers spent $863 million on used cars given as gifts, suggesting that these cars are being purchased for grandchildren drivers. What does this mean for you as you prepare for your grandchildren to hit the road?

Set a Good Example

One of the most important roles grandparents can play is to set a good example for their grandchildren before they are old enough to drive. For example:

• Slow down when you drive; show your grandchildren respect for laws and limits.
• Buckle up and require them to be buckled in as your passenger.
• Stay off of the phone and limit other distractions so that grandchildren see that you value their safety while in your vehicle.
• Do not get in your vehicle after consuming alcohol. Hand over the keys and model safe behavior.

As your grandchild gets closer to earning a permit and license:

• Talk about what is involved in maintaining your vehicle—e.g., tires, breaks, oil changes, etc.
• Know the rules of the road and find teachable moments to share information with your grandchild. For example, many states limit the number of same age passengers a new driver may have in their vehicle until they become more experienced drivers.
• Share your values and expectations; driving is a privilege.

Your unique relationship with your grandchild allows you to have loving discussions that your teen may perceive as “lectures” if given by their parents.

Vehicle Choice is Key

Budget and safety must outweigh a young driver’s desire for “cool.” Small, fast cars are the least desirable for first-time drivers. “Big and boring” is the mantra, although SUVs are not recommended for younger drivers because they are more difficult to handle. And if the budget allows, new is better than old. The reason for this is reliability and the stability of handling for newer models. Safety is the largest factor. Newer vehicles provide the latest safety technology like side impact air bags, traction control and antilock brakes. Take a moment to talk with your insurance agent before you shop with your grandchild so you are armed with information about models that are both safe and the most cost-effective to insure.

Involve Your Teen in the Insurance Discussion

Part of sharing this important step with your teen is helping them understand how to manage the costs of their insurance. Your insurance agent can provide you with a list of ideas to help with this conversation. Ask if any of the following apply to your situation:

• Education and grades matter; students attending high school or college full time with a 3.0 grade point average may be eligible for discounts. Honor roll (or equivalent) may qualify as well.
• Accredited driver safety and training courses may qualify for savings. Look into “Graduated Driver Licensing”—a three-step program to help new drivers practice driving under lower-risk conditions.
• Community involvement like scouting, volunteering and civic service is one indication of a less risky teen, and may be rewarded by insurers.
• Keeping a clean driving record is very important to controlling the cost of insurance for younger drivers. Sharing this at the outset of their driving experience is an excellent way to make your expectations clear.
• Electronic tracking of teen drivers is gaining popularity. These technologies range from GPS applications available on cell phones that allow you to track where a teen is at any given time, to a chip installed on a vehicle that monitors speed, acceleration, braking, radio volume and can even geo-fence a driver so parents can set boundaries.

As a grandparent, you play an important role in this first rite of passage into your grandchild’s adulthood. Arming yourself with facts and information is your first step to guiding your teen to a safer future. For more information, check out the website for Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Guest blogger Lori Bitter is the Chief Executive Officer of Eons.com, an online community for baby boomers and beyond.

Detroit is back! In a recent story in the Wall Street Journal, Senior Editor Jo White reported that America’s muscle car mania is back. For the first time since Jimmy Carter was president, automakers Ford, Chevrolet and Dodge are boasting retro models that combine in-your-face design and big horsepower.  Retro models on the market now include:

• Dodge Challenger
• Ford Mustang
• Chevrolet Camaro

What’s truly unique is that these cool cars have huge engines and are clearly targeted to baby boomers who lusted after these cars in their teens and early twenties. We grew up and settled for models that accommodated our parenting lifestyles in our twenties and thirties: compacts during the oil crisis; we created the minivan era for our new babies; and graduated to sport utility vehicles. “Many Baby Boomers are experiencing another phase in their life, the nest is empty and because they have reached a heightened income level giving them both time and financial freedom, they chose vehicles that provide them with a luxurious, safe feel and youthful, sporty drive,” according to Jesse Toprak, vice president of trends and analysis at TrueCar.com.

What are the dreams of Boomers?

Jim Gorzelany, contributor to Forbes, identified the top 10 cars for the generation born between 1946 and 1964:

1. Porsche Boxter – 84.2% sold to Boomer consumers
2. BMW 6 Series Convertible – 79.8% sold to Boomers
3. Mercedes-Benz SL – 70% sold to Boomers
4. Land Rover LR2 – 67% to empty nesters
5. Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder – updated alternative to retro muscle cars
6. Audi A5/S5 Cabriolet – 66.1% sold to Boomers
7. Volvo C70 – 65.3% sold to Boomers
8. Chevrolet Aveo – 65.1% purchased by Boomers; hardly luxury, this frugal choice may reflect the financial issues older consumers are experiencing. This could be a second car choice or one for a student
9. Mercedes-Benz M-Class Hybrid – 64% sold to Boomers
10. Chevy Corvette – 63.8% sold to Boomers

While Boomer buyers certainly dominate the luxury car category. most middle-American Baby Boomers won’t be purchasing from the list above. So the muscle car options from Detroit provide new, affordable options.

Automakers rejoice!

American automakers have struggled to survive this economy, so Baby Boomers and our passion for either muscle cars or luxury vehicles is a shot in the arm. Ford’s Mustang Facebook Page has more than a million “likes.” Chevrolet marketing exec, John Fitzpatrick, has reported that Camaro drivers cluster in two age groups: 20-30 year olds and 45-plus. This craze, however, is threatened by a government push for fuel economy standards, from 56 mpg to 60 mpg by 2025. Performance car manufacturers will need to explore their choices, and boomers will need to make difficult decisions.

Cool, but practical

The empty nest is tempting! Boomers no longer need vehicles that take children’s needs into account, so we purchase those dream vehicles. Sometimes we’re happy about the purchase, but often it comes with regret. Below are a few considerations for the perfect vehicle for the next stage of life:

1. Your commute. Do you benefit from a green vehicle or a sporty two-seater?
2. Transmission. Is a manual the best choice for your daily driving journey?
3. Grandchildren. Are you a grandparent who needs a vehicle to accommodate a car seat?
4. Is smaller better? Sports cars are cute, but if your lifestyle is about gardening, antiquing or home improvement, little cars will not do. Take a look at the new boomer vehicle–the crossover!

We have solved this in our household. I drive a hardtop convertible and my husband drives the crossover that brings home all of my treasures from sales and markets. I’m struggling with who gets the car seat for our new grandson!

Guest blogger Lori Bitter is the Chief Executive Officer of Eons, Inc., an online community for baby boomers and beyond.

Is this you?

At Continuum Crew we began tracking this trend in 2009 as we discovered patterns of independent behavior among boomer couples that are very different from our parents’ generation. This includes:

• Separate bank accounts
• Individual retirement plans
• Fewer couple friendships/separate social lives
• Vacations apart pursuing interests and passions

Couples report that the more independent they are, the more money they are willing to spend without consulting their spouse. We are spending separately on some things you might expect like health and beauty products, books and magazines, clothing ... but we are also likely to spend up to $500 on entertainment, travel and electronics without consulting each other on the purchase.

What makes us different?

Baby Boomer women are the first generation of females with broader access to a college education, which led to jobs and careers. And the generation before us made great strides in the women’s movement and a fundamental shift in thinking about women’s roles at home and in the workplace. This created an empowered generation of women with money of their own. Divorce and remarriage have been a hallmark of our generation. Consequently couples are more cautious about sharing finances, and many became very "set in their ways" as single people. Many couples choose to have yours, mine and ours banking relationships to keep finances simple and to control their own spending. We are reimagining our "retirement years." Even before the economic meltdown it was clear we were not going to retire the way our parents did. We like work and will need to work longer. We will have more years than our parents to finance, so we will be finding ways to make those years financially productive but also in line with our passions and interests.

Together but equal

So how do we navigate this new type of relationship where we live together but act singularly? Communication is the key. 1. Shared goals as a couple do not mean losing your self. You may share goals about where you choose to live, how much you plan to have saved, and what you DO enjoy doing together. Focus on these together. 2. Clearly communicate the personal goals, passions and needs you have for this period of your life. We all want to see our partners happy and fulfilled. 3. We change. Even though we are older, we still explore and change. These changes can make us seem different to our partners; dialogue about what we are experiencing and our excitement alleviate stress on the relationship. 4. Trust. Love and money are perhaps the hardest places to trust, but mature adults with good communication skills can weather these issues and find a healthy balance between their needs and their partner’s trust issues. 5. Flexibility=Happy! Not surprising, couples who exhibit the ability to move and shift report being happier in their relationships. Health, family, and work can change our lives in a moment. The ability to adapt and roll with punches minimizes stress and keeps us in our happy place!

Lori Bitter is President of Continuum Crew Marketing and CEO of Eons, Inc., a website focusing on Baby Boomers.