The Allstate Blog » Grandparent

Allstate Seniors’ Guide: Overview

Melissa — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:00:32 +0000

In the past 40 years, cars have undergone remarkable changes. While the basic act of driving (turn the wheel, push the pedals) is largely the same, the technology in cars has evolved dramatically since most seniors learned to drive. Everything from the powertrain to safety systems and entertainment systems on cars has changed. Staying up-to-date on the latest automotive technology, driving skills and laws that affect older drivers is one of the best ways to stay safe behind the wheel. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety estimates that about 10 percent of today’s drivers are over 70 years old. In a February 2012 study, TRIP, a national research organization, said projections show that by 2025, one in every five drivers will be 65 or older. Because aging is often associated with a decrease in vision and an increase in reaction time, having so many older drivers on the road can seem like an unsafe proposition, but that’s not necessarily true. IIHS reports that the fatality rate of drivers over 70 from car crashes has dropped 45 percent since 1975. It’s now at the lowest level since data collection began. Since seniors generally don’t have to commute to work or school, they drive fewer miles per year and also tend to drive more on city streets, where crashes may be less severe. That doesn’t mean that as an older driver, you have nothing to worry about, however. Data from car insurance companies shows that insurance claims from drivers start to increase at about age 65. IIHS reports that older drivers are more likely than younger drivers to be involved in accidents at intersections and while merging. In many of those claims, the older driver is at fault. Additionally, while older drivers have one of the lower rates of crashes overall, as miles traveled increases, their crash rate starts to increase. In this Seniors’ Series Guide, we will be discussing various topics that affect seniors on the road today. You can look forward to the following posts. Feel free to add your own discussion points in the comments section of each as they are published.

The New Rules of Safe Driving

As car technology has changed, some of what you learned in driver’s education no longer applies. Today’s cars have more safety equipment than ever before. That has helped keep all drivers safer, but the safety equipment works best when it can work with the driver. More crowded roads and 40 years of research have also changed the best practices for safe driving. By learning the new rules for safe driving, you can keep your skills sharp and make your driving safer.

Dealing with Changing Abilities

As we age, our bodies change. Sometimes, the changes are just an annoyance, but when it comes to driving, changes in physical abilities make a big difference. Older drivers need to know how to recognize and deal with changes in their vision and reaction time. Staying on top of your physical changes and taking them into account when hitting the road helps you recognize your limits and stay safe.

What Caregivers Should Look for in a Car

The Ford Mustang you had in high school may still tug at your heart, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best car for your lifestyle now. AARP estimates that 44 million Americans are currently taking care of a family member. For many drivers, that means taking care of an aging parent, spouse or adult child. Taking care of grandchildren is also increasingly common. Having the right car with the right features makes being a caregiver a lot easier.

Driving with Grandkids

The rules for having kids in cars have changed since many of today’s older drivers had little ones in the back seat. If you’re planning on hitting the road with your grandkids, here’s what you need to know to keep them safe.

When It’s Time to Give up the Keys

It’s sad that, eventually, most of us are going to have to stop driving. It’s important to know how to recognize when it’s time for us or someone we know to get out of the driver’s seat and what resources your state may have to help with the process. Having a conversation about giving up the keys is tough, but when it comes to staying safe on the road, a tough conversation may be necessary.

Boomers: Tips for Setting Up an Intergenerational Household

Marilyn Katz — Mon, 21 May 2012 14:06:34 +0000

For some time now, the term ‘boomerang generation’ has been bandied about to describe young adults moving back into their parents’ homes. But now, we’re also seeing a ‘reverse boomerang,’ where it’s the parents joining the children’s households.

Sometimes these parents are elderly, but more than half of the increase in intergenerational families is from parents who are still under age 65, according to U.S. Census Bureau data. Due to a combination of unemployment, rising living costs and debt, we boomers are now joining our kids in being described as a boomerang generation.

Consider Advantages, Disadvantages

Of course, an intergenerational household may have advantages. Boomer parents are well noted for having close relationships with their children. And having extra adults around to help with expenses, child care, or just to keep each other company, can make life less stressful, more memorable and more fun. But you don’t have to dig deep to imagine the potential negatives.

Having extra adults around to help with expenses, child care, or just to keep each other company, can make life less stressful, more memorable and more fun.

Having Suzy leave her dirty clothes in the bathroom, or Junior deplete the gas in the car, may be mildly irritating when they are still in high school. But when they move back home, after college or after losing a job, these sorts of problems can quickly mount. Add to that grandmother’s sensitivity to loud noises and the kids’ tendencies to evoke them and, well, the situation can quickly become overwhelming.

Coordinate a Family Conference

So, where to begin? Before you consider combining households, you need to bring the adult parties together to discuss expectations, boundaries, and rules. This can include housekeeping duties, rent, or contributions towards expenses. It may even include behavior. For instance, if one party is moving in because of a job loss, maybe no rent is expected. But there will probably be expectations that the unemployed person will look for a job, and, at least, that dirty clothes will find their way to the laundry basket. Neither party will be happy if there’s too great a compromise on lifestyle, savings or retirement as a result of the other party failing to pull their weight. Nobody wants to feel taken advantage of or misused.

Set the House Rules

Once you’ve decided to green-light the intergenerational living arrangement, you will want to outline each party’s expectations and create house rules covering areas such as:

Rent and other expenses. Will the moving-in party pay rent, buy groceries, or make sure the family car has a full gas tank?

Housekeeping and repairs. Will housekeeping tasks be shared, or at least, not made any worse? If one party breaks something, will they assume responsibility?

Space concerns. Is your home ready for intergenerational needs? Do you need to baby proof? Or make accommodations for someone who might have trouble navigating the stairs?

Fitting in and getting along. This may be harder to discuss than the more tangible financial issues. If you are moving in with your adult son, for example, how will your presence affect his new wife? If your son and his family are moving in with you, will they expect live-in babysitting services? Is that what you expect? How will mealtimes and other routines change, or stay the same?

Goals and progress. If the new living arrangements are supposed to be temporary, while one party works to find a new job or pay off debt, what goals, timetables and milestones can you put in place? If Junior should be looking for a job, to help pay off $50,000 in student loans, should he be participating in multi-player Internet games until four in the morning?

I have known blended, intergenerational family situations that worked out very well. Young children got the benefit of having grandparents around; adult kids got a chance to get back on their feet; and older folks enjoyed companionship and some help with household bills and duties. But I have also seen generous people taken advantage of by “boarders” who never put food in the refrigerator, a load of laundry in the wash, nor have never made a meal. In these cases, the host family exceeded its budget and eventually lost its patience -- relationships and finances were seriously damaged. Intergenerational households might very well be a solution to financial problems, health issues or even loneliness. While it can be tough to impose rules on adult children, or on parents, you’ll only benefit by having these discussions and making everything clear in advance.

Guest blogger Marilyn Katz is the founder of the Over 50 Website, which is dedicated to topics that concern today’s baby boomers.

3 Ways to Help Your Aging Parents

Pamela — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 21:02:46 +0000

It didn’t come as a surprise when my parents started asking for more help around their house. My mother is 72 and my father is 77, so it’s a testament to their health that they’ve been able to get along on their own for so long. But between long hours at work and taking care of my girls, finding time in the day to get their groceries, clean out their gutters and do a little laundry was harder than my husband and I expected.

So he and I put together a plan to help us help them. Here are a few steps we took to fit everything in without losing our minds:

Schedule a family meeting

I knew my parents would be hesitant to own up to everything they needed, so I planned a family meeting to put it all on the table. My husband and I asked what we could do to make their lives easier and let them know that we honestly wanted to help. After they opened up about the things they were struggling with, we made a list of tasks they’d need done on a weekly and monthly basis. We also found out how often their prescriptions needed to be refilled or renewed. Getting everything on paper in the beginning really helped us make sure nothing important fell through the cracks.

Divide and conquer

My husband and I take 30 minutes each Sunday to write out a schedule for the upcoming week to help us keep everything straight. We highlight time-sensitive tasks, like doctor’s appointments, and clarify who’s handling each task. We also keep a running list of chores posted on a white board on the fridge. We put an ‘x’ next to each completed task—and when the week is over, we erase them all and start again. There are usually things my girls can help with, such as dusting and folding laundry, so we bring them along about once a week for some Grandma and Grandpa time. They love having their little chores to conquer and often race to see who can get theirs done first!

Identify danger zones

Always the homemaker, Mom has quite a collection of floor rugs around the house. But after witnessing a few trips and slips, I saw they were becoming a major risk factor. So, a few months ago, I added non-skid backings to reduce the chance they’d be a liability. I also check to make sure that high-traffic areas are clear of stray items and power cords, and that any furniture with wheels is locked in position. We’re planning to install handles or railings next to showers, bathtubs and steps for extra stability. Since a fall can mean a long recovery for people their age, you can never be too careful. Helping your parents retain their independence can be a challenge, but taking proactive steps while they’re still in good health can make all the difference later on. And having a plan in place can help turn a long list of chores into a family bonding experience that you’ll remember for years to come.

Keep the Holidays Happy for Your Kids and Grandkids

Lori — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 16:06:25 +0000

Empty nesters can put a lot of pressure on the holiday season. As former “helicopter parents,” we no longer have day-to-day involvement with (or control over) our adult children and many of us are joining the ranks of grandparents. Short of cutting out our tongues, there are many things we can do to ensure a fun, peaceful holiday visit to create memories for the entire family.

Talk Early and Often

Communicate your thoughts and expectations early. Your adult child likely has more than one household to visit this year, particularly if there is a grandchild involved. Your traditions will change a bit. It can be hard to adapt, but accept that your child has a new role as a partner / spouse / parent and be proud of that growth.

TMI—That’s “Too Much Information!”

If your adult child is bringing a friend or significant other home for the first time, take care in sharing too many personal, childhood stories. While these are sweet and enduring for you, the photos of your child as a chubby 8-year-old may be torture for them. Let them lead the conversation and respect the boundaries they have with the person they have brought home.

Respect Their Needs

When others are traveling to your home for the holidays—however far—it can be stressful, particularly if young children are involved. Take care to abide by necessary meal and treat times for kids; particular food issues, allergies or menu needs; accommodate their sleeping times and arrangements; and respect the style of parenting your children are employing—in front of the children. If you have sincere concerns, share those with your child in a supportive way, outside of the presence of others and without judgment of their spouse or partner.

Gifting

Refer to tip one: “Talk early and often!” Gift giving and receiving is such a positive experience, but the in-law layer can create a hazard. Newcomers to your family will not have the experience of your holidays of past. Help your adult child help them acclimate to your traditions. New parents are establishing boundaries and traditions of their own; ask for gift ideas or traditions they are establishing and any financial parameters they are observing for their child.

Major Conversations

Many families only come together once or twice each year. This invites the potential for “big” conversations while everyone is gathered. These range from how to deal with troubled family members to where Grandma should reside now that she can’t live at home. When adult children bring new people into the picture, these conversations can be overwhelming. Limit the “big” conversations to immediate family members who can impact a positive decision. The exception, in this economy, is when your adult child needs guidance and financial assistance from you. If they open the door, this is your opportunity to share your point of view on spending, saving, investing and insurance options.

Happy Holidays!

As hard as it is to hear, we are no longer the center of the universe for our children. Yet, they likely are for us! The holidays are their opportunity to test us as parents and set adult boundaries for their future lives. By listening and preparing, we can pave our way to a happy holiday season.

Sharing the Road: Grandparents Can Mentor Teen Drivers

Lori — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 14:03:07 +0000

Parents and grandparents alike know that “pit of the stomach” feeling when a child grabs the keys and drives away for the first time. It’s both exhilarating to share their freedom and frightening to consider all of the things that could happen when they are behind the wheel.

A new study recently revealed that grandparents are increasingly paying for auto insurance for both children and grandchildren. A Bureau of Labor Statistics study shows that baby boomers spent $863 million on used cars given as gifts, suggesting that these cars are being purchased for grandchildren drivers. What does this mean for you as you prepare for your grandchildren to hit the road?

Set a Good Example

One of the most important roles grandparents can play is to set a good example for their grandchildren before they are old enough to drive. For example:

Slow down when you drive; show your grandchildren respect for laws and limits.
Buckle up and require them to be buckled in as your passenger.
Stay off of the phone and limit other distractions so that grandchildren see that you value their safety while in your vehicle.
Do not get in your vehicle after consuming alcohol. Hand over the keys and model safe behavior.

As your grandchild gets closer to earning a permit and license:

Talk about what is involved in maintaining your vehicle—e.g., tires, breaks, oil changes, etc.
Know the rules of the road and find teachable moments to share information with your grandchild. For example, many states limit the number of same age passengers a new driver may have in their vehicle until they become more experienced drivers.
Share your values and expectations; driving is a privilege.

Your unique relationship with your grandchild allows you to have loving discussions that your teen may perceive as “lectures” if given by their parents.

Vehicle Choice is Key

Budget and safety must outweigh a young driver’s desire for “cool.” Small, fast cars are the least desirable for first-time drivers. “Big and boring” is the mantra, although SUVs are not recommended for younger drivers because they are more difficult to handle. And if the budget allows, new is better than old. The reason for this is reliability and the stability of handling for newer models. Safety is the largest factor. Newer vehicles provide the latest safety technology like side impact air bags, traction control and antilock brakes. Take a moment to talk with your insurance agent before you shop with your grandchild so you are armed with information about models that are both safe and the most cost-effective to insure.

Involve Your Teen in the Insurance Discussion

Part of sharing this important step with your teen is helping them understand how to manage the costs of their insurance. Your insurance agent can provide you with a list of ideas to help with this conversation. Ask if any of the following apply to your situation:

Education and grades matter; students attending high school or college full time with a 3.0 grade point average may be eligible for discounts. Honor roll (or equivalent) may qualify as well.
Accredited driver safety and training courses may qualify for savings. Look into “Graduated Driver Licensing”—a three-step program to help new drivers practice driving under lower-risk conditions.
Community involvement like scouting, volunteering and civic service is one indication of a less risky teen, and may be rewarded by insurers.
Keeping a clean driving record is very important to controlling the cost of insurance for younger drivers. Sharing this at the outset of their driving experience is an excellent way to make your expectations clear.
Electronic tracking of teen drivers is gaining popularity. These technologies range from GPS applications available on cell phones that allow you to track where a teen is at any given time, to a chip installed on a vehicle that monitors speed, acceleration, braking, radio volume and can even geo-fence a driver so parents can set boundaries.

As a grandparent, you play an important role in this first rite of passage into your grandchild’s adulthood. Arming yourself with facts and information is your first step to guiding your teen to a safer future. For more information, check out the website for Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Guest blogger Lori Bitter is the Chief Executive Officer of Eons.com, an online community for baby boomers and beyond.

Safer Cars for Mature Drivers

Marilyn Katz — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 14:10:48 +0000

We mature drivers have years of experience. However, for some of us, we also must admit that our reaction time and eyesight may not be as good as they used to be. Despite that, we may be considered lower risk drivers because we use our experience, maturity and, hopefully, a clean driving record to demonstrate that we can handle vehicles safely. Now, let us use our virtues to make sure we do everything we can to compensate for some of the mild infirmities of getting older. That way we can keep the roads safer, enjoy more driving and help keep our insurance rates down! Inexpensive Ways to Make Your Car Safer Night Vision – As we age, our vision is likely to get a bit worse. A lot of times we hardly notice it, except when we have to challenge it. By all means, visit your optometrist regularly! Also note that dirty or yellow headlights can reduce your night vision by as much as 90 percent, and this problem is a lot more common than most people think. Your regular car wash may not be enough to keep your headlight covers as clear as when the car was new. So be sure you clean your headlights yourself or stop at a local service station and ask them to help you

Driver Safety Classes – Even if you have avoided accidents for years, you may still benefit from refresher classes. Many insurance companies offer a discount for their customers who take a driving safety class every few years, so it may be a worthwhile investment.

Navigation Systems – If your car doesn’t have a GPS, you can buy a portable device for about the price of two tanks of gasoline. Instead of having to squint to see street signs or addresses or worse yet, to glance down at a map, you can rely on a handy computer voice to tell you to turn right or left. New Cars – If you decide to purchase a new car, you can find all sorts of amazing new safety features—from collision prevention to blind spot warnings to rearview monitors. These safety features may add to the price of your new vehicle, but may also help earn you insurance discounts and make your car safer to drive. Adjust Your Seat Properly – Most of us are not as flexible as we were a few years ago. It is more important than ever to make sure you position your seat and steering wheel so you can comfortably operate your vehicle. Be a Wiser Driver – Many mature people have concerns about their parents too, so you may want to look into some safety features for senior drivers. Mature people are still considered a fairly safe group, but some senior citizens may be considered as high risk as some teen drivers. Making sure that your car adapts to your needs as a mature driver can be budget-friendly and simple. Some easy changes are surely cheaper and less troublesome than having an accident. Guest blogger Marilyn Katz is the founder of www.over50web.net , an online community for boomers.

5 Tips to Finding the Right Senior Living Community

George — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:31:08 +0000

Soon-to-be seniors searching for retirement homes may have trouble knowing where to start. Though many communities promote the fun side of senior living—game nights, shopping trips and, in some cases, on-site spas—there are serious considerations to make when choosing where to spend your retirement years, or when helping a parent decide where to spend theirs. With so much to think about, planning for senior living early can be beneficial in the long run. According to the National Clearinghouse for Long-Term Care Information, about 70 percent of adults over 65 require some form of long-term care services. Seeing as people’s need for care increases with age, it’s important to start thinking about retirement living even a few years before retirement. Use these tips to help you find a senior living community that suits your (or your parents’) future needs:

1. Choose Your Standard of Care

Visiting a variety of retirement homes can help you picture your ideal community—and which ones you’d like to avoid. When touring a facility, take note of the interactions around you and look for signs of elder abuse: Are on-staff nurses or visiting practitioners available when you need them? Is the facility clean, well maintained and lined with handrails? Do caregivers interact well with residents? It’s also important to consider the level of assistance the community provides. While independent living is important in the early stages of retirement, you may find yourself seeking additional help as the years pass. Continuing care retirement communities, which combine independent living, assisted living and nursing home facilities, can make this transition a bit easier. These communities allow residents to prepare for their future and receive proper treatment for health issues later on—without having to change homes a number of times. Assessing your health prior to choosing a facility can help you avoid expensive health fees not included in basic retirement care

2. Seek Third-Party Information

Even if your facility tour is pleasant, it’s important to take a deeper look. If time allows, sit down with a resident and discuss his or her experience. Have a meal in the cafeteria. Ask questions about the facility and get a feel for daily life there. Aside from first-hand impressions, consult resources like the Better Business Bureau^® and Eldercare Locator, which offer great planning and searching tips, and link to records of complaints or legal actions made against specific facilities. Medicare also offers an online system, complete with details on quality ratings, health inspections and comparisons of different nursing homes in your area.

3. Consider Safety Essential

Feeling secure is just as important in a retirement home as in any other residence. Make sure to ask whether facilities offer 24-hour security personnel and surveillance of surrounding areas. Check for locks on windows and doors and see if safety deposit boxes for valuables are located on-site.

4. Make Sure Your Money’s Secure

Moving into a retirement home is a major financial investment. According to the latest Assisted Living Facility Profile, published by the National Center for Assisted Living, the average cost of a private unit is $3,022 per month, which adds up to $36,264 per year. See what measures are in place to protect your finances while in residence—and ask what would happen should your funds run dry.

5. Take a Second Look

Don’t forget to double-check documents that need to be signed before moving in. A number of elder care attorneys offer services to help new residents navigate legal documents. Not all contracts are the same, so it’s important to understand the basic costs, along with what residents are expected to pay for additional services and health care.

Preparing for Retirement – Letters from Retirees to Young Folks #1

Brendan — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:45:38 +0000

Retirement preparation isnt easy. There are many ideas, books, experts, blogs, and sources of information about how to retire, so how do you know which one is right? We thought it would be good to learn from real people who actually have made it into retirement. We asked them to write letters to younger relatives with advice on how to think smart about their future. This is REAL advice from people who made it to retirement, and its simpler than you think. What follows are ACTUAL letters with easy and simple tips to help you prepare for your future. To: Our Grandchildren From: Grandma and Grandpa Hi Grandchildren - Grandpa and Grandma would like to give you a little advice since we have grown older and see whats happening in the world we hope you dont mind our little advice! First of all, think (that) you never know what will happen tomorrow, so you want to do the best you can to prepare yourself. Always think, Im fortunate for what I have both materially and health wise and I want to take the best care I can of it in preparing myself for my future! Do whatever you can to put into savings as you go along. The sooner you start the better. Try not to have to have all the brand name items if something less will do (and then put the extra away). Things get harder as you get more responsibilities. As you get into a job, if the employer has matching funds for investment into retirement make sure and take advantage of it starting as soon as you can even if you just put a small amount into it. Through the years it will add up. Since the world is so uncertain you should do whatever you can to prepare yourself for the unknown future. Health insurance is also very important as you never know how your own and your family health will be. If you get into stocks, be very careful and do a lot of research before getting into them. I myself, consider them risky unless you really know what youre doing and even experts cant predict the future on them! Thanks for listening we love you and hope for your best future! Grandpa and Grandma