The Allstate Blog » Marriage

When is the Right Time to Get Engaged? [INFOGRAPHIC]

Brendan — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 13:06:34 +0000

How do you know if you're ready to pop the question? Traditionally, guys make the move, often buying the engagement ring beforehand and getting down on one knee (often after a romantic dinner) to make the marriage proposal. The key is getting the timing right: knowing when she's ready; knowing when you're ready; and hopefully, knowing what her answer will be -- this can be very tricky! Fear not, the infographic below works out many of the possible situations and scenarios confronted by today's would-be brides and grooms. Follow the dotted lines, answer the questions honestly, and you may receive some sage advice in the end.

[click the image below to enlarge]

Valentine’s Day on a Budget

Admin — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:26:42 +0000

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and it’s hard to not get caught up in the flood of red and pink hearts and Cupid’s arrows in flight. When my husband and I first started dating, I had all sorts of ideas about what would await me on February 14—an exotic trip, fancy dinner and myself dripping in brand-new diamonds. But reality sunk in as I realized that neither of us had the funds or free time to search out such extravagant gifts. Here are a few ways I learned to manage my expectations for Valentine’s Day as our relationship matured:

Think realistically

The film industry is saturated with sweeping gestures—blaring a boombox outside a bedroom window, public serenades from football stadium bleachers, scaling a fire escape to declare undying love—all of which look beautiful on the big screen but aren’t something you’d encounter in everyday life. Looking to chick flicks for clues about what your significant other might surprise you with this Valentine’s Day will likely leave you disappointed. Instead, try focusing on the little things he or she does day-to-day to show their love.

Make it meaningful

Classic Valentine’s Day gifts like diamond jewelry, rose bouquets and couture perfume can add up quickly—and while they’re nice to look at, don’t always convey the importance of your relationship as well as less expensive gifts can. In lieu of something fancy, suggest that you each create a homemade gift, such as a photo album of your favorite pictures together or a personalized coupon book.

A few years ago, my husband (then-boyfriend) and I celebrated the occasion by re-creating our first date at home—he made a simplified version of the dinner we ate at an Italian bistro and rented a DVD of the movie we saw in the theatre. You may also want to consider combining efforts to splurge on an experience you can share, such as a couple’s cooking class or day trip to a nearby park.

Say it simply

Last year, we scrapped gifts altogether and each used the hour we would have spent shopping to write a list of things we love about the other person. This was so much fun—and gave me a chance to really think back on the wonderful memories we’ve shared through the years. Then, we read our lists aloud during a cozy dinner at home. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect present—and it didn’t cost us a penny.

Sometimes, less truly is more. By shifting the focus from what your loved one will bring you this Valentine’s Day to what they bring to your life every day, you may find this to be your happiest couple’s holiday yet. And if he does go big for some diamond earrings, make sure those beauties are insured.

The post Valentine’s Day on a Budget appeared first on The Allstate Blog.

How Newlyweds Can Better Manage Their Money

Admin — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:32:20 +0000

In the weeks before my wedding, it seemed like I had hundreds of choices left to make—from which flowers I’d carry down the aisle to where everyone would sit at the reception. I was looking forward to it all being finished so my new husband and I could enjoy our wedded bliss. But it turns out there were a ton more decisions waiting for me on the other side of “I do.”

As newlyweds, my husband and I realized that we needed to start planning for our next big adventures, like buying a home, starting a family and enjoying our dream retirement. Laying a foundation for these goals felt overwhelming at first, so we broke them down into individual milestones. Here are some of the lessons we learned along our way:

Get out of the red

Before my husband and I could focus on saving for the things we wanted, we knew we’d have to tackle my least favorite four-letter word: debt. I made it a point to be honest about my financial history before we got married, but we revisited this sticky subject soon after taking our vows. We set aside a weekend to discuss our finances and drafted a spreadsheet that detailed our respective student loans, credit card debt and bank account balances. This helped us prioritize which debts we wanted to pay off first, while continuing to meet the minimum payments for our other debts. In addition, we created a monthly budget for ourselves with the help of Mint.com—and vowed to stick to it. Since 36 percent of young couples argue monthly about money, we work hard to communicate about our spending and stay within the limits we set for ourselves. So far, it’s been going pretty well. When I get tempted to add yet another pair of jeans to my collection, I remember the advice my mom gave me the day I got my first job: “You can’t always control how much income you have coming in, but you can control how much is going out.”

Save up for your own space

For a while, the little townhouse we rented right after we got married worked out great, but eventually, we wanted a bigger space for our future family. Once we decided to make the leap to homeownership, we opened a joint savings account dedicated to our down payment and put a portion of our paychecks into that account each month. During months with three pay periods, we directed the “extra” paychecks into this account, along with our tax refunds at the end of the year. And instead giving us birthday or holiday gifts, we asked our families to make small donations toward our goal. In the end, this strategy worked perfectly for us. After about two years, we had enough for a down payment and used the time we spent saving to figure out exactly what we wanted in a home. Since we’d like to start a family in the next few years, we didn’t try to buy a house at the top of our current price range. Instead, we took into account what type of mortgage we could afford after paying for things like childcare, larger health and life insurance policies, and school fees. After all, the USDA’s Cost of Raising A Child calculator estimates that having just one kid could cost us between $14,000 and $17,000 per year from birth to age 17—college tuition not included. Which is why, no matter how far off a baby is in your future, it’s not a bad idea to plan for the bundle of expenses that come with your bundle of joy.

Rest assured with a retirement plan

I’ve always dreamed of retiring early and spending our empty-nester years making memories with our grandchildren and traveling the world. But I know that unless we start setting money aside now, this blissful future could remain a pipe dream. That’s why my husband and I are diligent about contributing to our employer-sponsored retirement plans. If you’re like us, you may want to consult a financial advisor to determine whether a traditional IRA, Roth IRA or 401(k) is best for you. If your company offers a retirement plan, try to contribute enough to qualify for your employer’s match, otherwise you’ll be walking away from free money. And for additional financial security as you age, it might be worth talking through retirement plans that include disability and long-term care insurance. Money is never easy to discuss, even with your significant other. But to set yourselves up for success, it’s important to plan for the future as soon as possible. Most fairy tales leave this part out, but I’ve found that once you get smart about savings, you can find yourself one step closer to living happily ever after.

Moving In Together: What Stays and What Goes?

Admin — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 20:55:27 +0000

When taking my marriage vows, I promised to stick by my husband’s side through sickness and health, for richer or poorer. But before we moved in together, I didn’t realize my vows would extend to his collection of framed football jerseys and an ancient table lamp shaped like a turtle.

I knew there’d be challenges when I moved into my husband’s condo, yet I never imagined we'd disagree more about our furniture than our finances. Though it took time, we were able to find a balance between “bachelor pad chic” and “country cottage.” Here are a couple of tricks that helped us create a space of our own:

Save space for the sentimental

Neither of us wanted to argue about keeping things with a lot of sentimental—and little aesthetic—value. So, when we combined places, we made a rule that we could each set aside three pieces of furniture as non-negotiable keepers. And somehow, we made my grandmother’s childhood dresser work in the same room as my husband’s beanbag chair from college. Before I moved in, we planned exactly where these “no questions asked” items would go and measured them to ensure they’d fit where we envisioned. While these pieces from our past aren’t always pretty, they’re part of what makes our place home.

Divide and conquer

Since we were adding a whole apartment’s worth of furniture to an already full condo, we knew we’d have to say goodbye to some stuff. Who needs two toaster ovens, anyway? When it came to appliances and cookware, we took inventory of our duplicate items and kept the nicer of the two. We asked around at our offices and family gatherings to see if the rejected appliances had any takers, and gave the remaining items away. Because we knew we’d eventually want to move into a home together, we didn’t want to part with couches, bookcases and other things we’d want once we had more space. Rather than get rid of those big-ticket items, we opted to place them in storage. Before exposing them to the unknown elements in a storage facility, we made sure they were insured. Some items in storage can only be insured for a limited time or at a low percentage of their actual value—so we triple-checked our policy and calculated the value of what we had.

Find a middle ground

It was tough to find a common design scheme between my furniture and his, so we decided to blend pieces by color instead. And since our things didn’t go together naturally, we chose a more eclectic look for our place. Even so, it took a few months of gathering throw pillows, blankets, and other odds and ends before everything looked cohesive. Throughout the process, I knew my husband wasn’t thrilled when I added feminine touches to almost every room. But, as a compromise, he was able to keep his den as a total man cave, filled with everything a guy could want. This allowed both of us to feel like we had a say in aspects of the décor, and it set the stage for future collaboration.

Keep clutter to a minimum

Getting rid of our junk was one of the last steps in our moving process, but it was a super important one. Two households means twice the clutter, and I wasn’t about to wade through a sea of old term papers and broken holiday ornaments. A week before I moved in, my husband and I spent several hours sifting through our individual junk drawers and closets. This not only resulted in fewer boxes for me to pack and haul across town, it gave me a great opportunity to organize my files and get my bills, account statements and other important papers in order before the big move. Though you can’t prepare for every bump in the road that may arise, deciding what to keep, store and give away before moving day can help you breathe a little easier. And if all else fails, you can always de-stress with a nap in your significant other’s beanbag chair.

Richelle Mon bonn is a contributing blogger and E-Business Marketing Manager at Allstate Insurance Co.

First-time Homebuyers: 4 Ways to Prioritize

Admin — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:13:53 +0000

I loved the little townhouse my husband and I rented when we first got married. But when we started talking about having kids, my cute little place suddenly felt way too small. At first, looking for a home was an emotional roller coaster. It was hard to bridge the gap between the home I’d imagined and what we could actually afford. Fortunately, with each place we saw, our priorities became more and more clear.

In the end, we were able to find a home that we loved and could actually pay for—but it took a lot for us to get to this point. If you’re in the market for a home, learn from my firsthand experience and consider these tips to help you along the way:

Strengthen Your Credit Score

You know that you’re more than a few numbers on a page, but your home loan officer doesn’t. So, use those long months of house hunting to your advantage by finding ways to improve your credit score. The higher your score, the lower your down payment and monthly payments may be in the future. Be sure to pull your credit report to ensure you’re not being penalized for unknown or unsettled debts. You should also stop applying for new credit at least one year before you apply for home financing, as these applications can hurt your score. Keep in mind that if your score’s lower than 680, you may have to pay extra fees or a higher down payment.

Consider a Real Estate Broker

There’s no shortage of online home sale websites, but for me, having a realtor was crucial. Our realtor gave us some much-needed perspective—pointing out flaws we didn’t notice and highlighting features we never would have thought considered. In addition to assisting the property search, a realtor can provide information about current market conditions, financing options and negotiating issues that may apply to your situation.

Know the Neighborhood

For us, finding the right fit was all about location. We wanted a safe neighborhood with a good public school system, but we made sure to look into the surrounding environment as well. When you find a great deal, ask whether the home is located somewhere that may require additional insurance, such as a flood plain, or near a noisy junction, such as an airport, hospital or railroad track. If you’re concerned about noise or traffic on a particular street, try visiting the home during different times of the day. It can be helpful to ask people in the neighborhood about pros and cons of the area. You may also want to research neighborhood organizations, which can give you a feel for the level of community engagement.

Set Your Priorities

The only way to find your dream home is to know what you’re looking for! Finding the right property shouldn’t take a miracle, but it may require some pre-planning. First, figure out your priorities: What are you willing to give up? Would you trade fewer bedrooms for a larger kitchen, or a longer commute for a bigger yard? Keep a list of the features you’re looking for, and consider pricing, location and size, as well as amenities like a pool, garden or space for an addition. No matter what you’re searching for, make sure you can afford the perfect place once you find it. Take stock of your current budget to determine your ability to make mortgage and insurance payments and to put money down. Remember that with home ownership, your property taxes may increase and maintenance costs can arise at any time. Also, you may want to get pre-approved for a home loan before you start looking—that way, you’ll be able to make an offer as quickly as possible. As I’ve learned, the road to home ownership isn’t exactly a smooth one, but the bumps along the way are definitely worth it. After all, there’s nothing quite like having a place to call your own.

Richelle Mon bonn is a contributing blogger and E-Business Marketing Manager at Allstate Insurance Co.

It’s Not Our Parents’ Middle Age

Lori — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 17:23:18 +0000

A recent story by Claire Shipman at ABC World News describes a trend for baby boomers (born from 1946-1964) as they enter retirement. She reports that boomers are staying together, but spending increasing time apart pursuing separate interests. One couple she interviewed spends weeks apart as she volunteers in Honduras and he stays close to home, biking and working at a local museum.

Is this you?

At Continuum Crew we began tracking this trend in 2009 as we discovered patterns of independent behavior among boomer couples that are very different from our parents’ generation. This includes:

Separate bank accounts
Individual retirement plans
Fewer couple friendships/separate social lives
Vacations apart pursuing interests and passions

Couples report that the more independent they are, the more money they are willing to spend without consulting their spouse. We are spending separately on some things you might expect like health and beauty products, books and magazines, clothing ... but we are also likely to spend up to $500 on entertainment, travel and electronics without consulting each other on the purchase.

What makes us different?

Baby Boomer women are the first generation of females with broader access to a college education, which led to jobs and careers. And the generation before us made great strides in the women’s movement and a fundamental shift in thinking about women’s roles at home and in the workplace. This created an empowered generation of women with money of their own. Divorce and remarriage have been a hallmark of our generation. Consequently couples are more cautious about sharing finances, and many became very "set in their ways" as single people. Many couples choose to have yours, mine and ours banking relationships to keep finances simple and to control their own spending. We are reimagining our "retirement years." Even before the economic meltdown it was clear we were not going to retire the way our parents did. We like work and will need to work longer. We will have more years than our parents to finance, so we will be finding ways to make those years financially productive but also in line with our passions and interests.

Together but equal

So how do we navigate this new type of relationship where we live together but act singularly? Communication is the key. 1. Shared goals as a couple do not mean losing your self. You may share goals about where you choose to live, how much you plan to have saved, and what you DO enjoy doing together. Focus on these together. 2. Clearly communicate the personal goals, passions and needs you have for this period of your life. We all want to see our partners happy and fulfilled. 3. We change. Even though we are older, we still explore and change. These changes can make us seem different to our partners; dialogue about what we are experiencing and our excitement alleviate stress on the relationship. 4. Trust. Love and money are perhaps the hardest places to trust, but mature adults with good communication skills can weather these issues and find a healthy balance between their needs and their partner’s trust issues. 5. Flexibility=Happy! Not surprising, couples who exhibit the ability to move and shift report being happier in their relationships. Health, family, and work can change our lives in a moment. The ability to adapt and roll with punches minimizes stress and keeps us in our happy place!

Lori Bitter is President of Continuum Crew Marketing and CEO of Eons, Inc., a website focusing on Baby Boomers.

Tips for the ‘Couples Talk’ On Money and Budgets

Brendan — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 19:27:37 +0000

Casey Slide has a background in Industrial Engineering and resides in Atlanta with her husband and young son. She is a stay-at-home mom and contributor for the Money Crashers personal finance blog. There is no denying that a good marriage can be a wonderful journey. But it can also be a challenging one at times, especially when money is tight and important ﬁnancial decisions are looming. In fact, financial issues are the cause of three arguments a month for American couples, according to a survey from the American Institute of CPAs. And while it's always ideal to discuss money management issues before marriage, it's never too late to start. Here are seven tips to get you started: 1. Work Together On Creating a Budget You should be thinking about creating a household budget for couples as the foundation for a healthy marriage and robust ﬁnances. This budget will be the baseline from which most of your ﬁnancial decisions will be made. It will help you and your spouse have something to focus on during your ﬁnancial discussions. 2. Set a Time to Discuss Finances If you do not schedule a set meeting time, it can become difficult to carve out an opportunity to actually discuss your ﬁnances when you’re married. My husband and I meet every Monday night at 7pm, after dinner, to review our spending from the previous week. Among other things, a good point to cover is how much money you or your spouse can spend without telling the other. My husband and I never purchase anything over $100 without consulting with each other ﬁrst. 3. Be Respectful If you need to approach your spouse about spending habits, do all you can to be respectful and loving. Do not let emotions get the best of you or your finances. Listen to your spouse and try to see the situation from their perspective. 4. Make Finances Fun You may not be able to make ﬁnances completely fun, but try pairing the discussion with an extra nice homemade dinner. Or perhaps you could go out for dessert (like a caramel banana nut pie at the Pie Shop) as a reward for meeting your spending and saving goals. 5. Use Your Budget to Solve Problems If you are tracking your spending with a budget, you can see areas you are having trouble with. Perhaps you notice that you are over budget because you are overspending in the “Dining Out” category. You can then look back and see if someone is going out to lunch too often. Mint.com and You Need a Budget (YNAB) are great budgeting tools to use for this purpose. 6. Work As a Team Two brains are better than one. Bounce ideas off of each other and brainstorm how you can cut spending and save money. If you are trying to determine the best deal on something, such as homeowners insurance, split the task of doing the research and have each person make half the phone calls. Remember, you and your spouse are a team. 7. Consider Marriage Advice If you think you need some extra help or you and your spouse are not seeing eye to eye, consider bringing in a local financial professional or marital counselor to help sort it all out.

Casey Slide is a guest blogger from MoneyCrashers.com. In exchange for sharing this content, GoodHandsCommunity.org has compensated her via cash payment.

Top Money Saving Habits

Brendan — Fri, 29 May 2009 21:16:12 +0000

There are thousands of tips out there for saving money from the ingenious like cooking two batches of a meal and freezing one to the absurd like separating two-ply bathroom tissue to create two rolls from one.

The thing is, belt-tightening isn’t a one-day event. It’s a process—a change in habits. Here are five ideas to keep in mind as you begin the adventure of paring down your spending.

Habit 1 – Prioritize Your Spending
Every family is different, and someone else’s cost-cutting techniques might not be right for you. That’s okay. Try focusing on:

Your biggest expenses. Reducing them even a little bit could free up lots of dollars.
Stuff you won’t really miss. Magazines you subscribe to but don’t read are a prime target, and so are extra cable channels that you don’t watch often.

Unconscious daily spending. Your morning coffee and paper might only cost $3, but over the course of a month that adds up to $60—enough to pay the phone or cable bill.

Habit 2 – If you can’t eliminate an expense, try reducing it

This can make more of a difference than you think. Maybe eating out is a normal routine for your family. Have you considered that you could save $20 to $40 a month by giving up just one restaurant dinner? That’s enough to pay a small bill or make an extra payment on your credit card.

Habit 3 – Share your money saving ideas

[Make friends with folks who are also cutting down, and trade tips with them or post your ideas on our money saving forum | javascript:;]. Multiple minds are better than one, and you’re bound to get and give valuable advice. Plus it’s great to have friends who understand and appreciate your goals!

Habit 4 – Remember: Slow and steady wins the race
Trying to squeeze your family’s habits into a tiny budget in one shot won’t turn out well. You need time to get used to new ways of doing things, and so do your spouse and kids (especially if the cost-cutting ideas aren’t their own).

The one exception to this is if you’re in an emergency situation and need to free up a lot of cash right away. In that case, you’ll definitely want to use this next tip.

Habit 5 – Talk through the family budget with your spouse and kids
Having everyone on board with the decisions you make will make your life a hundred times easier. A family is a team, and this should be a team effort. Even young children can be made to feel like they’re helping. If everyone pitches in now and does their part, they’ll also be able to share in the triumph later.

Related Articles:

301 Blog Posts About Saving Money

The post Top Money Saving Habits appeared first on The Allstate Blog.